Grown up sister is furious that friends did not ask her & husband on cruise.Don't like her husband.?

A group of friends talked about going on a cruise together last year. My sister's husband is a jerk - no one couldcome up with an agreeable date and cruise so the idea was dropped. We said maybe next year. Now 3 of the couples booked a cruise without asking my sister and husband.



I told her about the cruise only after we found out they booked a vacation the same timeframe. We did not want to take a chance on them joining us. (She needed to be told because of elderly Mom)

Now my sister is furious we did not invite them since we talked about it last year.



I explained we didn't want her husband - she understood but said she would have gone without him.

We thought it would be impolite to invite her without the jerk husband so we said nothing. We don't think her husband would have let her go anyways since he controls her.



Now I feel bad. But the 3 couples only get one nice vacation a year and we did not want to ruin our vacation with this jerk. Sister and husband go on several vacations a year and never ask any of us to go.



I said this to her and she said you go on vacations too and don't invite us. She said this is not a vacation but the cruise we all talked about before - that never happened - but we talked about 2010 for a cruise.



What could we have done differently? What can we do to make her understand this is not against her but we don't like her husband?. Her husband has hurt and played mental games with all of us - acts condescending to us. We don't feel we have to put up with him like she does.Grown up sister is furious that friends did not ask her %26amp; husband on cruise.Don't like her husband.?
You were pretty clear with her, I don't think there's anything more you can do except give her time to get over this. I think the fact that she was snubbed is more hurtful than not being able to go on the trip. But, she knows the source of the problem, maybe she will be encouraged to do something about him.
who cares? she's already having a vacation during that timeGrown up sister is furious that friends did not ask her %26amp; husband on cruise.Don't like her husband.?
You should have told her from the beginning that you all were going to go together and that the others did not want her husband along. Unfortunity this guy is in your family, she is your sister's husband and you should have sided with her and been loyal to her. You did not have to join in this group behavior that you all knew was going to exclude a family member of yours. You should have found a more equitable solution like letting those other friends go on their own vacations without you. It looks to me like you prefer them to your own sister.